Struggles and Victories

Happy 2013!!!!!!!!

My sincerest apologies for not keeping up with the blog/vlog.  The holidays were crazy busy, as usual, and the new year was kicked off with a major cold that turned into something worse.  All said and done, I am 90% better and ready to continue my journey.
I went back to the gym for the first time in a couple of weeks and since my last composition, I've lost 3.5 more pounds of fat!  I did my best to eat while I was sick so that I wouldn't starve my body and have the residual effects from that.  I am back to eating on a regular basis today and fingers crossed, I will continue to drop fat and progress toward my goal.

One month from today I have a birthday and I hope to be 15 pounds lighter.  Today I weighed in at 258 and my size 22 jeans are quite loose on me.  By my birthday i hope to be in my size 18 jeans and I will have broken the 250 barrier.

This process is very slow and my illnesses have set me back quite a bit.  I struggle daily. I don't want to work out anymore and I don't want to eat every 3 hours. I don't want to cook all the time. I don't want to eat tons and tons of lean protein and green vegetables. I want to sleep. I want to lay in bed in the mornings and enjoy the warmth of my flannel sheets. I want to eat my meals out and have someone else fix them and not worry about what is being put in the food to make it taste extra yummy.  I want to eat hamburgers, crunchy tacos, speghetti and meatballs, pecan pie a la mode and fresh baked goodies.
On the flip side, I want to wear skinny jeans. I want to shop in normal department stores and wear fashionable clothes. I want to participate in outdoor activities and extreme sports. I want to be able to keep up with a day full of chasing young children and still have energy to think and do adult things after they go to bed.
So....... I have to decide if the burgers and fries are worth the trade for skinny jeans. Are the fresh baked goodies worth not having the energy to be a mom, professional, and wife? Is laying in bed enjoying the comfort of flannel sheets worth it, if I'm laying there all alone dreaming of the life I want or do I get out of bed and work toward the life I dream about?
Today, I chose the later. I plan to make the same choice tomorrow but I won't know until tomorrow comes.
Wish me luck and keep cheering me on  - I need the help.
Thank you Thank you Thank you!